a child's words
gator, monster, blue
scribbled
on notepaper
in the waiting room
—Skylark, 2:2, Winter 2014
so small ...
but only a neutrino
can pass through
this universe
unscathed
—Skylark, 2:2, Winter 2014
The second one represents a slight departure for me.
These are both powerful, poignant poems and they really enhance each other paired this way. Some of your best!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenny. I had "accidentally" sent these to Skylark at the same time and they (along with another one) were printed in Skylark together. Oddly, I didn't notice how they worked together until now, when I was picking out tanka to post here.
DeleteStrong poems.
ReplyDeleteThey do work really well together--I love the Japanese forms, and even though lately I have been writing in longer forms, I really have a special place in my heart for the shorter forms--
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gail and Audrey!
DeleteSomeday I intend to get back to longer verse, but I can't quite seem to pull away from tanka. I think I like writing about the little "moments."
Though sad, these do go so well together. Well done!
ReplyDeleteYes, these tanka do go together, beautifully. They both evoke a sense of wonder and fragility . . . but also, that deep-seated, lurking human suspicion that there is uncertainty (and, perhaps, even risk) in the very act of simply: existing.
ReplyDeleteHappy for your comments, J and W!
DeleteI like your insightfulness, W: the uncertainty or risk in the act of simply existing.