Friday, April 5, 2013

Impulsively; I think of buying

impulsively
I lop the old hibiscus
down to its base;
what need I must have
to challenge my faith

I think of buying
a lily
this week,
my deluded body
clinging to spring

Simply Haiku, Autumn 2006


Above, my first Dutch iris that actually has bloomed, though I see something's already chewed on it. The squirrels may have dug up most of the bulbs I planted a couple of years ago; a surprise to find this bloom the day before Easter.

The old hibiscus, by the way, and a couple of others, finally bit the dust this winter. They had been through a lot: droughts, freezes, a move or two, and no doubt some owner neglect.

6 comments:

  1. Maybe this could be a haiku version of the second one?!

    potted lilies --
    my deluded body
    clings to spring

    ReplyDelete
  2. Janet, I like both of these, especially lines 4 & 5 in the first one! What endless sources of metaphor: the garden and the body. I think the haiku version of "lilies" also works very well. I can't decide which I like better, the tanka or the haiku--but they make a splendid illustration of the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi, Jenny, thanks.
    The construction in my second one feels odd to me now - a remnant of my experimental free verse days?
    I don't know, maybe I like my off-the-cuff haiku better, since "potted" has a double meaning (and thus perhaps I don't need "deluded"), LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. The differece for me between the tanka version and the haiku is that in the tanka you are undecided about how you feel; in the haiku you are definite about how you feel. Either way works.

    Adelaide

    ReplyDelete
  5. I guess that's right. And I didn't actually buy that lily, but I do remember considering it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm on the second one. I like the comparison of spring to youth. The lily being a sign of youth. Great imagery there. xo stace

    ReplyDelete